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Model IELTS salary essay

The IELTS salary essay

It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

It is, of course, important for people to earn a sufficiently high salary to support their lifestyle. This does not mean, however, that the salary is the only point to be taken into consideration when choosing a job. Indeed, I would argue that there are a number of other factors that are equally significant.

The first point to consider is why it may be a mistake to place too much emphasis on the salary. One reason why this is so is that you may select a job that is well-paid but ultimately unsatisfying. In this case, you may spend 8 hours a day being unhappy. Something else to be taken into account is that highly-paid jobs tend to be stressful and involve long working hours. For instance, many doctors have a 60 hour working week and they often suffer from burn-out early in their careers and wish they had chosen a less stressful profession.

The other point to be taken into account is how other factors may matter more than the salary when deciding on a job. Indeed, most people would accept that the work environment is key to job satisfaction. If you are working alongside people you like and the atmosphere in the office is positive, you are much more likely to be satisfied in your work. Likewise, it is also critical that you actually enjoy what you do. For example, someone who is artistic is much more likely to be happy working for a low salary teaching art than earning a fortune as a merchant banker.

In conclusion, I would say that the salary should be only one consideration in choosing a job and that other factors such as job satisfaction and work environment are just as important.

(296 words)

Understand the essay structure

This is a very clearly structured essay that fully answers the question. Note how simple and clear the structure is.

Introduction: identify the question and set out main idea

question: It is, of course, important for people to earn a sufficiently high salary to support their lifestyle.

main idea: This does not mean, however, that the salary is the only point to be taken into consideration when choosing a job. Indeed, I would argue that there are a number of other factors that are equally significant.

Main body 1 – reasons why depending on a high salary is not a good idea

Note how the first/topic sentence clearly sets out the point of view. This is then supported with two reasons. This is a well-developed argument.

The first point is…

One reason why…

Something else to be taken into consideration….

Main body 2 – other factors that may be more or equally important

Note how this paragraph balances the first paragraph. The first point – The other point: the examiner immediately sees your essay structure in the first sentence.

Note how the arguments in this paragraph are supported with examples. This is another way you should develop paragraphs. See also how I vary the language in my examples:

if

for example

Conclusion – restate the main idea in the introduction and give examples from the body paragraph

The conclusion is brief. That is fine. Note though how it reflects the main idea in the introduction – completing the essay. It also uses some language from the body paragraphs to show the examiner that it is a logical conclusion;

other factors such as job satisfaction and work environment are just as important.

4 Responses to Model IELTS salary essay

  1. Grace Wang September 20, 2016 at 10:40 am #

    1: earn a sufficient high salary / well-paid job / highly-paid job / earn a fortune

    2: a less stressful profession / long working hours / job satisfaction / work enviroment / working alongside people you like / positive atmosphere in office / happy / unhappy / unsatisfying / burn out early in one’s career

    3: equally significant / be taken into consideration / be taken into account / be critical / be key to / place to much emphasis on

    -admit the improtance of it ?? however, other factors are equally significant

    -not the MOST important ?? list the consequences of placing too much emphasis on it

    -what other factors matter?? list other 2 factors that are as important

  2. Grace Wang September 20, 2016 at 10:53 am #

    Hi Sir Dominic,

    I suppose that in the last sentence in the 2nd paragraph, “they often suffer from burn out early in their careers” should be “they suffer from burning out early^…”. Do I make it wrong ?

    your course is really helpful! thank you again!

    waiting for your reply!

  3. fifi September 21, 2016 at 3:41 am #

    hi, dominic,i want to ask that in the last paragraph, you said the salary is only one factor,why other factors are as important? the salary is the most important one and the only one? isn’t it? i think this should be “the salary is not the only one…..”. is it right?

    your course is really helpful. hope for getting your reply. thank you!

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