Improve coherence in essays: linking your paragraphs

This is one of a series of lessons that will look at practical ways to improve your essay writing. The idea is simple, I take a sample of work submitted by a student and look at ways of improving it. I show you the original, I explain the problem and then give you an exercise to practise your skills so that you can avoid the problem. This time I am going to look at the concept of coherence and one way of building paragraphs so that they make a complete essay.

Test yourself

Here is the challenge. There are two versions below, which do you prefer? They both contain the same language, both are pretty much grammatically correct. Do you think that one is better than the other though?

Thinking about essay structure and coherence

They are both equally “possible” paragraphs. I would suggest though that one is much better than the other. Let me try and explain why.

To do this, you need to read the paragraph that came before and to think about essay structure. The main point are:

1.  each paragraph should clearly link to the paragraph before
2.  this link should be in the first sentence of the paragraph
3. the aim is to be clear and to help the examiner read the essay.

Look at this chain. See how it all links together: separate bits but one thing. That is all coherence is. Separate paras linked into one essay.

Now read the previous paragraph

From my point of view, the more fortunate nations should engage themselves to combat poverty by taking into consideration two facts: the particular circumstances the target society is facing and its level of development. According to these facts, I would classify actions to be taken in three categories: long, medium and short term measures.

This is an excellent introduction. We now what the essay is about and how it is going to be structured. It is about how richer nations can/should help poorer nations. The main idea (thesis) of the essay is that there are 3 ways this should happen: through short, medium and long-term measures. The next paragraph must link to this or the chain is broken.

Seeing the problem

Now re-read version A again and my notes on it below to understand the problem. It is a problem of coherence and the problem lies in the first sentence:

Firstly, there are the very poor nations which are suffering from dramatic conditions such as civil war, starvation, dictatorial political systems, no minimal sanitary facilities (contaminated water) and contagious diseases like AIDS. For example, the most unfortunate nations on Earth, such as Somalia or Ethiopia have very basic needs that have to be dealt with. The only way developed countries can help is through very long term and costly programmes, for example, by financing the establishment of NGOs in those countries on a permanent basis.

Notes

• “Firstly”: The problems of the poor countries is not the first point at all. It is confusing how this fits in with the previous paragraph
• “The only way developed countries can help”: this is the main point of the paragraph. This is the first measure to take. Because it is the main point and it relates to the previous paragraph, it should start the paragraph

Finding a solution

The solution is fairly easy. To see it, you only need to read the first sentence of version B again. The key being that this is the first sentence.

Perhaps the most important of these measures is to plan for the long term.

It is a short, simple sentence that does two jobs. It links clearly to the paragraph before (“these measures”) and tells the reader what this paragraph is about (“long-term plans”). All you need to do next is explain and exemplify. Learn how to PEE.

A simple exercise to improve your skills

The best things in lifeare often simple things. Here is what you do:

• don’t practise writing a whole essay
• find an essay question
• decide on your structure (for/against etc)
• write the first sentence of each paragraph
• try not to write more than 15 words each time
• each sentence you write should relate to the task
• the language in each sentence should be similar (the interesting language comes in your reasons and examples)

Another simple exercise to test your own skills

The idea is simple. Take one of your essays you have written before to see how good your essay organisation really is:

1. copy it if you can
2. cut out one paragraph.
3. try and write out the task in the question

 One more simple exercise to do yourself

You might also be interested in:

• Paragraph coherence: linking words
• 4 ways to make your paragraphs coherent
• Paragraph coherence: the PEE model
• Band score 8.0 – writing better paragraphs
• Punctuation – full stops and sentences

How to like it, share it and save it

And yes in case you’re wondering, this is of course about topic sentences. Boring but necessary.