The latest in my series of sample IELTS essays to download. If you read on, you will also a lesson with advice on how to answer the question, improve the coherence of the essay and improve your vocabulary.
Thinking about the question
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits?
A double question
The first point to note about the question is that there are in fact 2 questions. This is quite common in IELTS essays and it very, very important that you answer both halves of the question or you will be penalised heavily for Task Response.
The open question
The first question is an open question: “What will it be used for in the future?”. In a way, this is the harder question as you need to think yourself of 2/3 areas in which computers will be used in the future. There are a number of possibilities here, just a few are:
- education
- communication
- transport
- personal robots
The closed question
Making your answer coherent
I have two suggestions to make the essay coherent. The first is to make sure you explain your ideas . This means explaining how the technology will be used in the future, rather than just listing different areas in which it will be used in and also explaining why it may or may not be dangerous.The second idea is to try and link your paragraphs together. One way to do this is to refer to the same ideas about how computer technology when you write about the possible dangers.
Structuring the essay
There are 2 main possible structures for this essay. One is to write a topic paragraph about each question and a separate conclusion. The other is to write 2 topic paragraphs about how computers will be used in the future and then use the conclusion paragraph to answer the second question. If you take this second approach, be sure to write a complete paragraph for your conclusion, or the examiner may think you have not answered the question fully.
Grammar and vocabulary
This question asks you to write about the future. Be sure to try and vary your future language. It is important to use different structures to get a good band score; it is not enough just to avoid mistakes.You also want to try and avoid using the word “computer” all the time and try and find some varied vocab.
- See my lesson on futures to get some ideas for grammar
- See my lesson on technology vocabulary for words
Read and download the essay
Here is my sample essay with notes.
As we move into the twenty-first century, it is clear to see that we have become more and more dependent on computers and information technology. This technology now reaches into almost every area of our lives and it is easy to predict that this phenomenon is only going to grow. My personal belief is that this presents a variety of dangers.
It is highly likely that in the future there will be comparatively few aspects of our lives that will not be influenced by computer technology. The probability is that it will control more and more forms of communication, transforming fields such as education and business when video-conferencing platforms become more stable. It might even affect romance with more people forming relationships online.
While there may be benefits to this technological revolution, there are also a number of potential dangers. Perhaps the most serious of these would be that if people rely on computers too much for communication, they could in fact begin to communicate less well. For example, if every member of a family had their own computer screen and smart phone, they might speak less and less often to one another and simply look at a screen. This would be serious because our ability to communicate is an essential part of our humanity.
My conclusion is that the growth of computer technology is inevitable, but that this may not be entirely positive. Just one area in which it is possible to foresee dangers is communication, and if we are going to ensure that computers do not become a negative influence, we need to think carefully how we use them.
(273 words)
Varying vocabulary
influence/affect/control are 3 similar words. See how I vary my vocabulary, rather than just repeating the same word.
Being academic
This essay is quite academic in tone. This is because I do not always use “is” and “will”. Rather I choose to lots of modal verbs such as would, might and may.
Matching the introduction and conclusion
The essay is extremely coherent. Part of the way I achieve this is by matching my introduction and conclusion. This is an easy trick to learn and will certainly help your essay writing.
i am very hapy to get your fantastic essay.i need more and more.the reason is that i’ll take ielts general test very soon.
thanks a lot
ayub
Best of luck
very good language,it might help me for my essay writing.
Hello Dominic,
Thank you very much for sharing you ideas / knowledge with us. I’m so thankful that I’ve found your blog which has taught me a lot of things. As for now I am preparing for my exam on Dec. 17, 2011. I do hope you will continue guiding me in this preparation..
Cheers,
Angie
I’m back working on the site again now after a little break, so there should be lots of new material coming your way.
thank you very much
Many Many Thanks to you for helping us,
Dear Dominic,
I wasn’t sure where I can write you, maybe here..
Many many thanks for your wonderful blog as it really helps so much, a great source of information and all kinds of helpful materials. I was nervous if I could pass IELTS preparing by myself, and was lucky to find this page, so have passed the test with 7.5. I’m very grateful, and I guess there are lots of people being thankful for what you do, so please keep on helping people!
Best regards, warmest wishes!
Congratulations on the score. It’s always nice to hear good news. It’s not easy to prepare by yourself, so well done once again.
Excellent website – consistently useful material
Any chance of some oral exam part 2 models.
Thanks
Coming later this week with any luck