This is the next in my series of model essays for IELTS. It is on the theme of advertising, one of the more challenging topics in IELTS. This is partly because you need some quite specialised vocabulary, but also because it may be a topic you haven’t considered before. So, as well as the essay to download, I talk you through a process of getting ideas for essays like this. You will find some useful vocabulary with exercises in this lesson.
Reading the essay question and getting the structure right
Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are consumers influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
This is one of those double questions types. It is absolutely essential that you answer both parts of the question. One logical way to do this is use a main body paragraph for each part of the question. So, my essay uses this structure:
Introduction: identify theme of essay and outline your position
Main body 1: answer to what extent advertising does influence us
Main body 2: answer what measures we can take to protect consumers
Conclusion: return to main theme of essay and underline your position
The benefit of this structure is that it is simple (and simple tends to be good in exam circumstances) and coherent in that it follows a logical progression. It makes sense to talk about the influence of advertising before discussing protection measures, and the conclusion reflects the introduction and so tops and tails the essay.
Step 1 – getting ideas to write the essay – ask yourself questions
One problem many candidates have is finding ideas for essays. Very often, the place to get these ideas is in the question itself. The trick is to look at the words in the question and ask yourself some WH questions (who/where/what/why/when etc). That gives you your start, then it often works to try and think of differences. So, for example:
numbers of advertisements: Ask yourself what different types of advertising do you know? TV commercials/bilboards/leaflets and flyers/promotions/logos and slogans/product placement/sponsorship
Are all these the same? Is one type more dangerous than others?
consumers: Ask yourself what different types of consumer are there? high street shoppers/online shoppers/impulse buyers/regular customers/children/adults.
Are all these the same? Do some need more protection than others?
competing companies: Ask yourself what does this mean? It’s about the free market and competition.
Is it possible to regulate the free market?
influenced: Ask yourself how we are influenced by advertising? Is it the same in all cases?
Which is the most dangerous form of advertising?
measures: You can ask yourself what measures need to be taken, but you can also ask yourself who should take those measures.
Can the government regulate advertising? If they cant’t who can? The consumers themselves? Some other body?
Step 2 – 0rganising the ideas – making your paragraphs coherent
Another common problem is that candidates have enough ideas to write an essay, but they don’t organise them well. If you try and include all your ideas, your writing will almost certainly become incoherent – and that’s bad for your band score. Here is how to avoid that problem:
Each paragraph is about one main idea only
Yes, that’s right – just one main idea per para. This means that you need to select what ideas you use – if you try and use all your ideas in a 250 word essay, it is likely to become confused.
The main ideas are simple ideas – normally found in the question
Yes, this is right too. Your big (or main) ideas are simple. They are things like, “I agree with this proposal” or “This opinion is partly right and partly wrong”. So each paragraph begins with a simple sentence like:
The first point to make is that advertising does make us spend money we do not need to.
This means it does influence us. All you have to do now is explain why and how.Or
It is not easy to decide how to regulate advertising.
This means that controlling advertising is complex. All you have to do now is explain why that is so and what can be done.
Others ideas are supporting ideas that explain or give examples
The key here is to see that we just need a couple of explanations of the one big idea. Looking at the “ideas” from step I, I chose these for my first paragraph:
explanation; the most dangerous type of adverts are those that we see all the time and don’t think about
examples: tv commercials/flyers/sponsorship/product placement
So the final paragraph looks like this:
The first point to make is that advertising does make us spend money we do not need to. There are nowadays so many different ways companies promote their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers that we cannot escape it. If, for example, you watch a football match on television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you watch the latest blockbuster movie, very probably you will see a product placed in the film by some advertising agency. The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influenced by it and buy without thinking.
Step 3 – paragraphs are like essays: it can better to repeat/rephrase an idea than to give a new idea
The next point to note is that one possible paragraph structure is to repeat/rephrase your main idea rather than give a new one. This works best in more complex paragraphs like the one above. The main idea is:
The first point to make is that advertising does make us spend money we do not need to.
I then use a mixture of reasons and examples to explain this idea. At the end of the paragraph, I don’t try and say something different. Rather I come back to the main idea:
The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influenced by it and buy without thinking.
This should be a familiar idea to you. It is really just using the introduction – main body – conclusion structure of an essay for a paragraph. You wouldn’t add a new idea in the conclusion of your essay, so why would you in a paragraph?
Read the essay and download it
You can read the essay and writing notes on the use of pronouns and introductions and conclusions here.
Read the essay and notes
In today’s material world, we are inundated with various forms of advertising. In my view, this can be dangerous as it encourages us to spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some protection from it.
The first point to make is that advertising does make us spend money we do not need to. There are nowadays so many different ways companies promote their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers that we cannot escape it. If, for example, you watch a football match on television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you watch the latest blockbuster movie, very probably you will see a product placed in the film by some advertising agency. The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influenced by it and buy without thinking.
It is not easy to decide how to regulate advertising. Clearly, governments ought to restrict advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco. They do not have the power, however, to control other forms of advertising. This means we need to use our commonsense when we go to the shops, and ask ourselves whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents should, however, ensure that young people are protected from too much exposure to advertising. This can mean simply explaining that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox, or simply turning the television off.
My conclusion is that while we cannot escape advertising or its effects in the modern world, children should be encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.
(266 words)
notes
My introduction and conclusion are both quite short: 2 sentences and 1 sentence. There are different ways of writing introductions and conclusions. The benefit of this approach is that it allows me more words for the main body of the essay – perhaps the most important part.
If you are writing an academic essay, it is conventional to try and not use personal pronouns unless you need to. In this essay, I use first person, second person and third person pronouns.
I/MY
If the question asks you for your opinion, you are probably going to need to use first person pronouns in order to answer the question. You should try and use “I”/”my” as little as possible. Here I use them in my introduction and conclusion to show the examiner what my personal point of view is.
We
I use “we” and “ourselves” to talk more impersonally about people/consumers. This is one academic convention and it is perfectly acceptable in IELTS.
You
Normally, in my essays I avoid using “you”. It is fairly informal and avoided in academic writing. Some/many teachers will tell you that it is wrong to use “you” in academic essays because it is more spoken and not written language. In IELTS, however, you can get away with this provided you use enough more formal/written language elsewhere – this is one way IELTS is not exactly like academic writing. My best advice: try to find another solution if you can.
He/They
In my view, perfectly acceptable. In fact, you are going to need these pronouns if you use examples. It is better to use a pronoun rather than repeat the noun.
Firstly, thanks for your useful analysis and writing!
Could I change the phrase noun “in today’s material world” to “in this materialistic life” ?
Yes, that would work too. I think my phrase is a little more idiomatic though.